So Just before having the afore mentioned crit, I did a little work to make the initial page like a comic, mainly trying to figure out how the panel atop the page would communicate that the man was shouting to awake others, to warn them of the policeman. The heads in the dark themselves didn't quite suffice, and to boot were quite ugly to me, I wanted an easier to read, nicer looking alternative.
From that came this, a full view of the group sleeping awkwardly on the ground, with the fella at the end sat upright shouting about the Flattie. It certainly sorted the communication issue, i believe that the scene is pretty clear to read now, but it still looked clunky on the screen.
After having this concern, I took the image to a crit, and this stripped down version I created when I had my halftone revelation grabbed all the attention. There was a unanimous agreement that the figure being given that room to breathe absolutely worked in its favour. In hindsight, I feel as though this should have been obvious to me, but hey, thats the beauty of seeking others opinions. This, as previously mentioned, left me needing to re think the priorities of my book, moving to a more picture book outcome, rather than comic, which lead to the idea of giving the top panel its own page.
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